Bad Luck Tour Special 1: ‘Deadman’s Cave’
by Magnificent Meow
Summary: (aka A Dirty Kind of Love) Shuichi x Hiro - Sakano's Bad Luck special #1! Bad Luck goes cave exploring, and Hiro discovers new ways to inspire the lazy Shuichi...


Author's note: I began this awhile back and thought I would put out some new cheese and finish it, so to speak. XD Enjoy my weird humour. Or not. T_T  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: My writing, not my characters.  
  
  
  
Bad Luck Tour Special #1: 'Deadman's Cave' - Status: Fail  
  
(A Dirty Kind of Love)  
  
  
  
-------  
  
Shuichi sat upon the firm ground of the cavern entrance shuffling through grainy - yet unpleasantly moist - dirt. His surroundings were the most unusual he had ever been in, since everything was brown, dusty, and horribly dank. Each wall was cold and sturdy, in a weird fragile way. The singer was afraid to touch anything, lest the whole structure collapse. In the meantime he kept a weary eye out for creatures he would sooner leave alone - like bats and little white spiders that had never seen the light of day. He shuddered. If there was a bat he was prepared to run. If there were spiders - hell, he wouldn't step foot in this place again. Yes. This was definitely the most unpleasant place he had been in in years, and he was taking into account that one time when he accidentally slipped into the girls washroom in the first grade. This place was worse than that, it was a cave, and the only other people in it were Hiro, some ditz of a tour guide, and an ignorant cameraman who was only too preoccupied with the ditz.  
  
  
  
Call it a crazy publicity stunt if you will, since that seems to be just what the trip was. Sakano-san had arranged it on a caffeine induced whim sometime last month, and Shuichi had dreaded this day when he heard the news. "You're going on a cave exploration! It will be fun! And we're going to film it to see if it's television worthy." Aah, Sakano-san had been so proud of himself, having arranged everything through a friend, working out all the little details, the Bad Luck boys just couldn't say no. (Except for Suguru, who claimed to have a doctor's appointment that day. Shuichi could only curse Fujisaki, since he had stolen the singer's only means out of this death trap.)  
  
  
  
The pink haired boy lifted himself off the ground. Dirt. Of all things why did it have to be dirt? Anything would have been better. Sand, grass, foliage, pudding. Unfortunately when publicity called dirt usually came following close behind. Yuck. With a sigh, the pink haired one looked down at his clothes. Thank GOD he hadn't worn something new. Or old. Or anything that was his own - paid for by himself, for himself, with his own money. If he had it would have been ruined by now. Shuichi had protested the clothing a bit this morning, declaring it a 'stripping of identity' and 'no fun at all', but at the current time he was only thankful that his odd company had lent him some items so he could 'look appropriate' on camera. He snickered at the thought. Apparently appropriate means no style. He looked like a colour coordinated dork. Tan just wasn't his colour.  
  
  
  
The hyperactive ditz -- err, tour guide -- turned and spoke with a voice that sounded like a child's. "My name is Sandy and I'll be your guide for this afternoon!" She clasped her hands in front of her and struck an odd pose. "Welcome to 'Deadman's Cave'! We'll be doing a quick tour and...um..." she paused.  
  
  
  
The shock on Shuichi's face was obvious. With arms flapping at his side and knees quaking with fear he squealed. "DEADMAN'S CAVE??" A panic of blue washed over the boy's face as he teetered from the news. Falling backwards with a feeble moan, it was only by chance that Hiro caught him. The taller boy grabbed an ever-so-bendable-and-paper-thin Shuichi and stared at him with confusion. "Hi...ro...I'm...going to...die..."  
  
  
  
Pain. Sudden pain. A quick slap to the head from an annoyed friend stopped everything. "You're not going to die Shuichi. It's called 'Deadman's cave' because they found some archaeological remains here thirty years ago." (It's always good to know that someone has been paying attention.)  
  
  
  
Shuichi blinked. "Oh." Pausing, he put on an apologetic grin. "Then maybe I won't die."  
  
  
  
The singer straightened himself out as a nervous giggle came from the guide. "As I was saying, we'll be going on a quick tour of the cave, so I hope you've all checked your gear, it's not an easy trek." She paused again as she noticed a raised hand. "Um...yes, Shuichi?"  
  
  
  
"You mean there isn't a beginner cave?"  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
"So I have to go in this cave?"  
  
  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
  
"Are you SURE there aren't any beginner caves?"  
  
  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
  
Clear disappointment came in the form of a frown. "Okay."  
  
  
  
Still smiling, the perpetually bubbly Sandy continued with the safety tips and general precautions - none of which put any comfort into Shuichi's stressed-out mind. (Perhaps that was because he wasn't paying any attention.) The movements were there, but every word that came from her mouth went through one of Shuichi's ears and right out the other. He still couldn't get over the fact that this place was called 'Deadman's cave'. Creepy.  
  
  
  
Shuichi snapped from his daze with an unclear and worry-filled mind.  
  
  
  
Blink.blink.blinkblinkblink.  
  
  
  
"Hey!! Wait up!"  
  
  
  
------  
  
  
  
The cave was darker than the burnt toast Shuichi had eaten for breakfast. The flashlights provided nothing more than a small beam of comforting light and Shuichi found himself following closely behind his best friend. Sandy called out with information and warnings from ahead of the pair, and the cameraman, who had given up filming for the time being due to some difficulty maintaining his balance, was right beside her - flirting shamelessly.  
  
  
  
Quivering and nearly hugging his friend, Shuichi peered around like a frightened kitten. "Hirooooooo! Do you think there are cave monsters in here?"  
  
  
  
Hiro peered around his shoulder and took a good look at the pink mop tugging on his jacket. "Shuichi, are you really that scared? We didn't have to come you know."  
  
  
  
Shuichi ignored him. "You didn't answer my question!"  
  
  
  
A sigh fell from Hiro's lips. "There are no cave monsters, you're just paranoid."  
  
  
  
"Demons?"  
  
  
  
"No demons either."  
  
  
  
Shuichi thought for a moment before replying. "Good."  
  
  
  
-------  
  
  
  
With each step Sandy and the cameraman (otherwise known to Hiro and Shuichi as Blockhead 'A' and Blockhead 'B') grew further and further apart from the two young stars, absorbed in some mindless conversation about whether or not vegetarians should eat animal crackers. Hiro and Shuichi struggled behind with nothing more than grunts and sighs, until finally Shuichi cried out in terror.  
  
  
  
Moving in circles and hopping around Shuichi screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I just stepped on something moving!!! Help! HEEEELP!"  
  
  
  
Pausing, Hiro turned to see a tall haired Shuichi dancing on the cavern floor, scanning the area with a flashlight. "Shuichi, you're worse than Sakano-san!" He looked for himself. "I don't see anything. You probably scared it away with your big feet."  
  
  
  
"Noooooo! I stepped on it! It was there!" The singer paused for a moment to catch his breath.  
  
  
  
With Shuichi taking a breather, Hiro looked down at the boy's shoes and noticed something odd. Realizing what had happened, a disillusioned look fell across the guitarist's face as he let out a sigh and spoke. "It was your foot."  
  
  
  
"Huh?"  
  
  
  
Hiro pointed to a shoe which had a large footprint across it.. "You stepped on your foot."  
  
  
  
The singer raised a hand to his head and breathed a sigh of relief. "That's lucky! I thought it was a really big rat or something!"  
  
  
  
------  
  
  
  
The horrid walk through the cavern continued, and the blockheads were long out of sight. The boys trudged along on their own, hoping that the terror would soon end, and a bath had been prepared, complete with bubbles and a side plate full of cookies.  
  
  
  
Something fluttered down near Shuichi's head, but it took him a short while to realize just what it had been. He pointed his flashlight upwards and froze. That blue colour washed over his face once more as he stood with teeth chattering, too afraid to speak.  
  
  
  
Hiro looked back at his friend. "What is it now Shuichi?" The taller boy let his eyes follow the beam of light up towards the cavern ceiling where he found the source of the singer's concern. Hiro couldn't blame his friend for being frightened. What he saw frightened him too, and his face was suddenly quite similar in appearance to Shuichi's - that being completely freaked out.  
  
  
  
The two boys looked at each other and gasped. "BATS!"  
  
  
  
Without further ado, the pair moved like - pardon the expression - a bat out of hell, a full flock of the critters fluttering behind them. It made quite a scene really. Thank the Lord that the awful-flirt-of-a-cameraman wasn't nearby, because he'd be rolling on the ground with unconstrained laughter. That bastard.  
  
  
  
As far away as they could get, Shuichi and Hiro finally collapsed in a heap upon the ground, the threat of bats long gone. Their short breaths conveyed the ever-growing need for some fresh air, as they huddled in each others arms, not saying a word.  
  
  
  
Finally, after nearly ten minutes, Shuichi spoke up with a hint of amusement in his voice. "We sound like we just had the greatest sex of our lives."  
  
  
  
A bemused Hiro looked at his friend, stuck out his tongue, and rolled his eyes. "I wish. That would be a million times better than this..."  
  
  
  
Shuichi looked up with a quirky smile plastered on his face. "You mean that?"  
  
  
  
Hiro mulled over what it was exactly that he had just said, and took a moment before he grinned. "What are you thinking, you dirty little hentai?"  
  
  
  
"What am I thinking?" Shuichi mused. "I'm thinking of you," Shuichi leaned up to trace his tongue across Hiro's neck, "sprawled out on a nice cushy bed after a long hot bath."  
  
  
  
Hiro laughed. "Thank godd, for a minute I thought you were going to tell me to strip down!"  
  
  
  
Giggling, Shuichi licked Hiro's lips before embracing the taller boy with a wet kiss. "Are you up for it?" Shuichi questioned, breaking the kiss.  
  
  
  
Hiro gasped and gave a quick nod to show his approval. "There's your inspiration to get us out of here."  
  
  
  
Smiling with his easy win, the pink haired puffball dashed up to the best viewing point. "Leave it to me!" he called, surveying the area like a pro. After a brief moment he pointed to the direction they had come from and donned a cat like expression. "...Let's not go back that way."  
  
  
  
------  
  
  
  
It had taken only a half an hour until glorious light flooded the cave entrance and the warmth of the sun could be felt upon the chilled flesh of two exhausted boys.  
  
  
  
"I'M ALIVE!!!" Shuichi exclaimed, with a smile from ear to ear and hands reaching out to the sky.  
  
  
  
Hiro patted his friend's head and whispered. "And I'm impressed that you managed to find the way out so quickly! Somehow you're more productive when you're turned on..."  
  
  
  
Shuichi kept the smile on his face when he realized Sandy, Sakano and a bunch of others were watching.  
  
  
  
"We were so worried!" Sakano cried, tears flowing down his face. "We thought you were goners! Hurry up and get back to the hotel... we can't let you be seen like this!"  
  
  
  
"Yes Sakano!" Hiro said, a smile stretched across his lips as well.  
  
  
  
The dynamic duo crawled into limousine as Shuichi called back. "Don't worry Sakano! Hiro and I had lots of fun down there! We should do it again sometime!"  
  
  
  
The limousine pulled off and the boys watched contentment spread across their producer's face. Sakano could be so clueless. If only the man would realize how funny he really was.  
  
  
  
With a sigh of relief, Hiro and Shuichi turned their attention back on each other. The auburn haired boy pulled a grinning Shuichi to his side and held him there tightly. "Shuichi," he said with a smile "...you look rather hot covered in dirt..."  
  
  
  
Shuichi purred seductively. "Really? Well, you can clean me off..."  
  
  
  
Hiro could only laugh at Shuichi's silliness as he pulled Shuichi in for a kiss...and then another...and another. Before long the two were spread horizontally across the soft leather cushions of the vehicle making out, thankful that limos came with that handy little divider so the driver can't see anything.  
  
  
  
Moaning and panting filled the air, but the limo had been on the road for some time. "We'll be at the hotel soon," Hiro muttered between gasps.  
  
  
  
Shuichi nodded, but hesitated in stopping. "We should save it for then."  
  
  
  
-------  
  
  
  
Shuichi groaned in pleasure and disappointment as the vehicle stopped in front of a large cumbersome building with dozens of people around it waiting for taxis and such. Before the driver could come around to open the door, Shuichi burst out, tugging along a lightweight Hiro much like a balloon, and dashed towards the hotel entrance. And, much thanks to Shuichi's erratic enthusiasm, the pair made it to their room in record time!  
  
  
  
Within what seemed like a millisecond, Shuichi had a bath running and candles lit as Hiro looked on, stunned once more at Shuichi's speed when he was properly motivated. "Now if only you could write songs that quickly, hm?"  
  
  
  
The pink haired boy smiled and kissed Hiro. "Maybe you should offer to come over and help more often..."  
  
  
  
Hiro could only laugh. "Don't you think that would be a bit suspicious?"  
  
  
  
Beaming, Shuichi closed his eyes. "Well, maybe Yuki could join us!" His eyes opened as he felt a soft fuzzy towel bean his head. "Hey!"  
  
  
  
-------  
  
  
  
The speed which had created the ambiance of the room had settled as the pair relaxed in the perfectly heated water of the bath, rubbing soap and shampoo over their bodies.  
  
  
  
Occasionally kisses traced the other's spine or neck or shoulder, meeting every now and again at the lips. Gentle, affectionate licks teased and tormented the clean bodies, causing pleasurable moans to escape from soft lips. When they were both sufficiently clean, Shuichi crawled next to Hiro and nuzzled against him, head buried in the boy's damp neck.  
  
  
  
Shuichi sighed drowsily. "Mm, Hiro, you smell like soap..."  
  
  
  
Hiro responded with a groan and held the smaller boy closer, placing a kiss on Shuichi's now clean forehead.  
  
  
  
Silence was all around, and that's the way it stayed. After the long day, both were tired and sore. Bound by a mutual love and concern, Hiro and Shuichi curled together in the steamy warmth of the water and fell quietly asleep, forgetting their previous plans, and simply enjoying the comforts of each other.  
  
  
  
~fin~  
  
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Aah, the world is so much more fun in my head... I hope the twist at the end didn't disappoint too much. I thought it seemed much more sweet and caring for that to happen rather than sex or something like it. Thanks for reading! - Mags 


End file.
